He SO loves us.

So, imagine this.  You meet someone that you've never encountered before.  Which is really strange, because they know every single detail about your life.  EVERYTHING.  They know every lie you have told from the weight on your driver's license to the "adjustments" on your taxes; they know all the good feelings you have towards people, but all the hatred you feel, too; they can list off every wrongdoing you have done to the people around you, every addiction you have ever faced, every person you have ever slept with.  They know all of this, but yet they repeatedly proclaim their love for you.  You can't imagine who this person even is, since you have never told them any of the things they know and you most certainly have never told anyone else.  You REALLY can't imagine why they are telling you over and over why they love you either, given that they know all the dirty, nasty secrets of your life.  Then, on top of professing this absurd undying love, they say that they say that they love you SO much that they have paid off your mortgage, your cars, your student loans, AND have set up a bottomless bank account in your name and you are welcome to spend any amount of money on anything you want for the rest of your life.

 

Wouldn't that be AMAZING?!  You don't know who this person is, but you immediately fling yourself on them, hug them so tight they can barely breathe, kiss their face, and without even knowing it, instantly feel indebted to them forever.  There is nothing you wouldn't do to show them your appreciation.  Now, not only do they give you everything your heart desires materialistically, but they tell you they have the perfect husband, family, and future planned out for you.  It's just too good to be true.  And to top it all off, they tell you you owe them NOTHING.  ZILCH.  NADA.  NOT A SINGLE DIME.  All they want you to do is tell everyone about what they have done for you so they can do the same for them.  You can't get to your cell phone to call, text, or facebook fast enough.  Your gas pedal is on the verge of going through the floorboard you're pushing it so hard...

 

I'm sure you see where I'm going with this by now, right?  Y'all, I have $20,000 in student loans right now that are growing with each passing day because of interest.  It makes my stomach turn to think about paying all of that back.  If someone ONLY offered to pay those off for me, I would never be able to thank them enough.  I would yell their name from the rooftops.  There wouldn't be a soul I met that wouldn't know the story of how I came to know the person who paid off my debt for me.

 

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

 

The most famous Bible verse in the world.  Let's break it down, shall we?  "For God so loved the world"...this world.  That we live in at this very moment.  A world with terrorism.  A world where mothers drown their children in the bathtub.  A world where men find pleasure in looking at pictures of naked children.  A world where we lie, cheat, and steal and have no remorse.  This filthy, embarrassing, grotesque world.  God SO loved that world.  He SO loves us.  Every single disgusting person that walks it.  He SO loves them.  "That He gave His only Son"...I don't have children yet, but I have Trenton.  And let's be honest, he's pretty much mine (: I cannot express what happens inside of my heart when I see that child with tears in his eyes.  Even if it is for the most ridiculous reason, it breaks me.  I can't handle it.  It is pitiful and all I want to do is give him every single thing his little heart desires.  Do you think that for a single second I would do anything to hurt him at the expense of someone I didn't know, much less someone I know has done horrible, unspeakable things during their life?  Not a chance.  Oh, but God SO loved that people, that He allowed those very people to murder His son.  And not just a quick bullet to the heart, either.  A slow, painful death that was on display for people to watch and laugh at.  "That whoever believes in Him"...not that whoever has lived a good life and believes in Him.  Or whoever has at least $1,000 in their bank account and believes in Him.  WHOEVER believes in Him.  Remember that mom who drowned her kids in the tub?  Or that terrorist who blew up the twin towers?  Yep.  Them.  If they believe.  "Should not perish, but have eternal life"...oh, but not just eternal life.  Eternal life in Heaven.  With streets of gold and mansions and joyful noises.  WHOEVER will have eternal life, if they believe.

 

We can't imagine how we would repay the savior of our bank account.  We know that we would be sharing that story with every single person we come in contact with.  And if he said he would do it for them too?!  We would just make it our life's goal to tell everyone we encounter about the man who will pay off your debt with no repayment!  There would be no question about it at all.  And oh, how we would live to make his name famous.

 

So, what are we waiting for? 

 

I love you and I'm praying for you!

To Find Favor in Him.

"For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

 

A couple of nights ago a few friends and I got together for a super bowl party.  Bear with me, because I'm going to be embarrassingly honest here.  My co-worker threw the party and was excited that both I and her husband's friend would be there, because we are both single.  I already knew going in to the situation that I wasn't interested in the guy, not because he isn't a nice guy but just because we live our lives a little differently than the other, but she was persistent, still.  Once we got to the party he and I were casual but luckily he didn't know about the alterior motives my friend had.  A couple of hours into the party, I caught myself looking in the mirror in the bathroom and primping like us girls do.  For a split second I had the thought, "I don't even think he has noticed me tonight.  I sure wish I was skinnier and prettier and I should have done something different with my hair." 

 

Now, I had already told myself, and my friends, that I wasn't interested in this guy and he wasn't what I thought God had for me.  But yet I found myself looking for his approval anyway.  I didn't even notice what I did until I was on my way home.  I was driving and just thought to myself, "man, you miss the point every single day.  You were looking for the approval of man, yet again".  I made sure to stop right then and thank God that I don't have to concern myself with what others think of me, as long as who I am and what I do is pleasing to Him.

 

Way too often, we get so caught up on what others think of us that we forget who we are here to please.  We are called to work hard not to find favor with our co-workers and our bosses, but to find favor in Christ.  We are to live with pure hearts not so that those around us think we are good people, but so that we are pleasing to the Lord.  We are to do good and be kind and love others and give of ourselves not so that people like us, but so that Christ's love shows through us, and that by us, others may find Jesus.

 

I hope that today you realize that you don't need man's approval.  This world is deceitful and ugly and temporary.  The Son of God came and was killed, because He likes you and me that much!  Let's work toward pleasing the One who gave up His life for us, rather than those who are always going to find flaws in us despite our best efforts.

 

I love you and I'm praying for you!

Devotion 01.23.15

I send out devotions to a list of friends and family from time to time.  They are primarily just what God is saying to me through His word, but I share it in hopes that what He is saying to me needs to be heard by someone else, too.  The Word I came across this week went right along with the current status of my heart.  Oh, how Jesus speaks so loudly when we open our ears to listen.

Devotion for 01.23.15

“So Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “After I am worn out, and my lord is old, shall I have pleasure?”  The Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Shall I indeed bear a child, now that I am old?’ Is anything too hard for the Lord?  At the appointed time I will return to you, about this time next year, and Sarah shall have a son.” Genesis 18:12-14

“The Lord visited Sarah as He had said, and the Lord did to Sarah as He had promised.  And Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his old age at the time which God had spoken to him.”  Genesis 21:1 & 2

There have been quite a few times in my life where I have felt God calling me to do something and I just can’t even understand where He got the idea.  So many thoughts go through my head…”how will I be able to do that?  Who will provide the resources?  When will I know when the time is right?  What are people going to think of this idea?”  Much like Sarah, we are so quick to worry about what the world will think or how many things we have standing against us that we forget to consider the source of the whole idea.  God quickly proved to Sarah that not only did He not need her help, but that regardless of how she felt about the situation, it WAS going to happen.

Why are we so quick to doubt what the Lord can do in our lives?  Not only that, but why do we seem to have this idea that He needs our approval to do what He says He will do?  Have we not learned yet that it is out of our control?  “Is anything too hard for the Lord?”  I’m sure that years before this, Sarah would have been delighted to have a child.  But she was far past that point now.  She was “worn out” and had come to terms with the fact that she would never be a mother.  But God doesn’t care about timing, or whether or not we trust what He says, and even if we laugh in His face.  When He has a plan, He will be sure that it is fulfilled, whether we would like to join Him or not. 

I am done running away from what I feel God is putting in my path.  I think it is time that we embrace what He has set before us.  He’s going to do it despite what we think of the idea.  Why wouldn’t we want to be used by Him to fulfill His ultimate purpose?  That’s why we were put here in the first place, right?  For is anything too hard for the Lord?  Seek His face and ask what He has in His plan for you to be part of.  He is ready to use you.  You just have to be willing to say yes!

I love you and I’m praying for you!  Please remember to keep me in your prayers, too!  God has big surprises for this year!  Make sure you are ready!

The Gift of Encouragement

I have only told a very select few people about God laying The World Race on my heart.  One has been on the race before, one I knew would pray fervently for me, one is a man of God with years of wisdom, and one happened to overhear me talking about the race at work.

In the last 24 hours or so, I have been flooded with encouragement from all of them since I mentioned the idea.

"Keep your heart open to whatever God wants to do because He's up to something and that's exciting!!"

"GOOOOOOOOO! Just GO! Don't look back! Please GO! You will not regret it! Learn from me and GO! I don't care how stupid or crazy or whatever it sounds like.  I don't care if your parents or friends think you're crazy.  I don't care if everyone thinks you're crazy.  Just GO!  He's called you so GO!  What you're doing right now isn't wrong and it can set you up for a future you may have never dreamed of because it'll give you every material thing you could want.  But this, this is where real life is found.  I'm telling you just say yes and let HIM figure everything else out. You tell Him yes and watch Him work.  It's 11 months, Lauren.  11.  Think how quickly the past year went by.  11 months is the blink of an eye.  It will be the best, hardest, ugliest, most beautiful 11 months of your life.  Just say YES!  That's your job.  The rest is on God and I'm confident He'll handle it."

"My devotional this morning was for you as much as for me!!!!!"

(Funny how that author uses the same 'sick to my stomach' reference I did just last night in my last post.)

"1. God doesn't need you to go on the World Race.  He doesn't even need any of us to spread the gospel because if we don't, the rocks will.  With that said, He is INVITING you along for the ride.  And because of that, you have the chance to say no.  2. Which leaves you at a crossroads.  This is how I felt before the race and I want to share it with you: It was like this... I have two options.  Option A - I can stay on the road I'm on.  Working, ministry, church, whatever.  And God will still be my Father and He will still bless me and life will continue on.  Option B - I can go on the World Race.  He will still be my Father and He will bless me... And He will blow my mind.  I mean, rock my world.  So I was like, 'well, God, when you put it like that...' So I know this seems like a complicated thing to decide on but it really isn't.  What it comes down to is if you want to experience the craziest, wildest ride with Jesus that you can imagine.  And you WILL NOT come out of it the same person."

I am freaking out.  I have no idea if this will go anywhere.  I don't know if God's plan is only to put the idea in my heart to start me down a path to show me that I need to go another direction.  I don't know if I will be leaving in September for the World Race.  I don't even know if I'll live to see tomorrow.  All I know is He is working.  And He is present.  And He is scaring me to death.  But I have to trust His plan and His calling.  Even if it is the most terrifying thing He has ever said to me.

My application is submitted.  Now we wait...

The World Race???

The World Race…

11 countries, in 11 months.  No family, no friends, no TV, no bed to call mine, no Kayla, no Allie, no McDonald’s down the street, no paycheck, no car, no nothing.

For ELEVEN months.  No ME.  Nothing will be about me.

For months I have battled with my flesh in the never ending quest to figure out WHY God has me in the season He has me in.  My best friend is married and considering a move and a baby.  Bill is finishing up medical school and tossing around ideas of big moves for residency.  Chase and Brittany are trying for a baby.  Lauren and Jacob are in love with Carrigan and life.  I’m working.  And living alone.  And waiting until I can apply to nurse practitioner school.

Why am I single?  Why is God taking so long to send me the man that I so desire right now?  Why am I at the most amazing job in the world, but yet still feel so unhappy?  My boss is amazing, my hospital is incredible, and I adore my patients.  But I just feel stuck.

I am beginning to pray about The World Race.  I would leave in September and travel to 11 countries in 11 months to share the gospel of Christ and love on His people.  I will complete my one year commitment to St. Dominic’s Hospital in July and finish my bachelor’s program in August.  From there, I would just be working and gaining experience before I could further my education anymore.  Ok, check.

But what about bills?  My car is paid off as of April of last year.  I live alone and have no roommates who depend on my share of bills.  My student loans will have to begin to be paid on in February 2016.  I would have 6 months of payments I would have to save up for.  Ok, that seems attainable if I am diligent in saving.

But, God, what about money?  The Amazing Race requires about 18 THOUSAND DOLLARS to fund.  Where would that money come from?  I am simply trying to get things paid off right now and wouldn’t be able to save that kind of money if I tried with all my might.  Sure, I could try to get sponsors and do fundraisers but that much money?  Lord, HOW?!?

These are the thoughts running through my mind as I consider just what GETTING to the race would be like.  I am scared, and worried, and quite literally sick to my stomach right now.  I do not see this as something that could be possible.  But I simply cannot get it out of my brain or off my heart. 

These are the years that I have for me.  I have no husband and no kids and no real responsibilities other than be a good employee and student.  I am supposed to be “living it up” while I have the time.  But I don’t want to spend my time on me.  I want to love and serve and do something that is bigger than me, WAY bigger than me.  I want to do what God wants me to do.  I want to be where God wants me to be.  I want to take this time for HIM.  This is time I cannot get back.  I will never again be able to serve in the way that I can serve now.  Is the World Race really what He has planned for me?  I’m not sure…but I think I’ll be finding out soon enough.  I do not have to know how things will work out.  All He has ever asked is that I be willing.  That is say “Lord, here am I, send me.”  So, Lord…here am I.  If it is your will, send me…

theworldrace.org