Devotion 01.23.15

I send out devotions to a list of friends and family from time to time.  They are primarily just what God is saying to me through His word, but I share it in hopes that what He is saying to me needs to be heard by someone else, too.  The Word I came across this week went right along with the current status of my heart.  Oh, how Jesus speaks so loudly when we open our ears to listen.

Devotion for 01.23.15

“So Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “After I am worn out, and my lord is old, shall I have pleasure?”  The Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Shall I indeed bear a child, now that I am old?’ Is anything too hard for the Lord?  At the appointed time I will return to you, about this time next year, and Sarah shall have a son.” Genesis 18:12-14

“The Lord visited Sarah as He had said, and the Lord did to Sarah as He had promised.  And Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his old age at the time which God had spoken to him.”  Genesis 21:1 & 2

There have been quite a few times in my life where I have felt God calling me to do something and I just can’t even understand where He got the idea.  So many thoughts go through my head…”how will I be able to do that?  Who will provide the resources?  When will I know when the time is right?  What are people going to think of this idea?”  Much like Sarah, we are so quick to worry about what the world will think or how many things we have standing against us that we forget to consider the source of the whole idea.  God quickly proved to Sarah that not only did He not need her help, but that regardless of how she felt about the situation, it WAS going to happen.

Why are we so quick to doubt what the Lord can do in our lives?  Not only that, but why do we seem to have this idea that He needs our approval to do what He says He will do?  Have we not learned yet that it is out of our control?  “Is anything too hard for the Lord?”  I’m sure that years before this, Sarah would have been delighted to have a child.  But she was far past that point now.  She was “worn out” and had come to terms with the fact that she would never be a mother.  But God doesn’t care about timing, or whether or not we trust what He says, and even if we laugh in His face.  When He has a plan, He will be sure that it is fulfilled, whether we would like to join Him or not. 

I am done running away from what I feel God is putting in my path.  I think it is time that we embrace what He has set before us.  He’s going to do it despite what we think of the idea.  Why wouldn’t we want to be used by Him to fulfill His ultimate purpose?  That’s why we were put here in the first place, right?  For is anything too hard for the Lord?  Seek His face and ask what He has in His plan for you to be part of.  He is ready to use you.  You just have to be willing to say yes!

I love you and I’m praying for you!  Please remember to keep me in your prayers, too!  God has big surprises for this year!  Make sure you are ready!

The Gift of Encouragement

I have only told a very select few people about God laying The World Race on my heart.  One has been on the race before, one I knew would pray fervently for me, one is a man of God with years of wisdom, and one happened to overhear me talking about the race at work.

In the last 24 hours or so, I have been flooded with encouragement from all of them since I mentioned the idea.

"Keep your heart open to whatever God wants to do because He's up to something and that's exciting!!"

"GOOOOOOOOO! Just GO! Don't look back! Please GO! You will not regret it! Learn from me and GO! I don't care how stupid or crazy or whatever it sounds like.  I don't care if your parents or friends think you're crazy.  I don't care if everyone thinks you're crazy.  Just GO!  He's called you so GO!  What you're doing right now isn't wrong and it can set you up for a future you may have never dreamed of because it'll give you every material thing you could want.  But this, this is where real life is found.  I'm telling you just say yes and let HIM figure everything else out. You tell Him yes and watch Him work.  It's 11 months, Lauren.  11.  Think how quickly the past year went by.  11 months is the blink of an eye.  It will be the best, hardest, ugliest, most beautiful 11 months of your life.  Just say YES!  That's your job.  The rest is on God and I'm confident He'll handle it."

"My devotional this morning was for you as much as for me!!!!!"

(Funny how that author uses the same 'sick to my stomach' reference I did just last night in my last post.)

"1. God doesn't need you to go on the World Race.  He doesn't even need any of us to spread the gospel because if we don't, the rocks will.  With that said, He is INVITING you along for the ride.  And because of that, you have the chance to say no.  2. Which leaves you at a crossroads.  This is how I felt before the race and I want to share it with you: It was like this... I have two options.  Option A - I can stay on the road I'm on.  Working, ministry, church, whatever.  And God will still be my Father and He will still bless me and life will continue on.  Option B - I can go on the World Race.  He will still be my Father and He will bless me... And He will blow my mind.  I mean, rock my world.  So I was like, 'well, God, when you put it like that...' So I know this seems like a complicated thing to decide on but it really isn't.  What it comes down to is if you want to experience the craziest, wildest ride with Jesus that you can imagine.  And you WILL NOT come out of it the same person."

I am freaking out.  I have no idea if this will go anywhere.  I don't know if God's plan is only to put the idea in my heart to start me down a path to show me that I need to go another direction.  I don't know if I will be leaving in September for the World Race.  I don't even know if I'll live to see tomorrow.  All I know is He is working.  And He is present.  And He is scaring me to death.  But I have to trust His plan and His calling.  Even if it is the most terrifying thing He has ever said to me.

My application is submitted.  Now we wait...

The World Race???

The World Race…

11 countries, in 11 months.  No family, no friends, no TV, no bed to call mine, no Kayla, no Allie, no McDonald’s down the street, no paycheck, no car, no nothing.

For ELEVEN months.  No ME.  Nothing will be about me.

For months I have battled with my flesh in the never ending quest to figure out WHY God has me in the season He has me in.  My best friend is married and considering a move and a baby.  Bill is finishing up medical school and tossing around ideas of big moves for residency.  Chase and Brittany are trying for a baby.  Lauren and Jacob are in love with Carrigan and life.  I’m working.  And living alone.  And waiting until I can apply to nurse practitioner school.

Why am I single?  Why is God taking so long to send me the man that I so desire right now?  Why am I at the most amazing job in the world, but yet still feel so unhappy?  My boss is amazing, my hospital is incredible, and I adore my patients.  But I just feel stuck.

I am beginning to pray about The World Race.  I would leave in September and travel to 11 countries in 11 months to share the gospel of Christ and love on His people.  I will complete my one year commitment to St. Dominic’s Hospital in July and finish my bachelor’s program in August.  From there, I would just be working and gaining experience before I could further my education anymore.  Ok, check.

But what about bills?  My car is paid off as of April of last year.  I live alone and have no roommates who depend on my share of bills.  My student loans will have to begin to be paid on in February 2016.  I would have 6 months of payments I would have to save up for.  Ok, that seems attainable if I am diligent in saving.

But, God, what about money?  The Amazing Race requires about 18 THOUSAND DOLLARS to fund.  Where would that money come from?  I am simply trying to get things paid off right now and wouldn’t be able to save that kind of money if I tried with all my might.  Sure, I could try to get sponsors and do fundraisers but that much money?  Lord, HOW?!?

These are the thoughts running through my mind as I consider just what GETTING to the race would be like.  I am scared, and worried, and quite literally sick to my stomach right now.  I do not see this as something that could be possible.  But I simply cannot get it out of my brain or off my heart. 

These are the years that I have for me.  I have no husband and no kids and no real responsibilities other than be a good employee and student.  I am supposed to be “living it up” while I have the time.  But I don’t want to spend my time on me.  I want to love and serve and do something that is bigger than me, WAY bigger than me.  I want to do what God wants me to do.  I want to be where God wants me to be.  I want to take this time for HIM.  This is time I cannot get back.  I will never again be able to serve in the way that I can serve now.  Is the World Race really what He has planned for me?  I’m not sure…but I think I’ll be finding out soon enough.  I do not have to know how things will work out.  All He has ever asked is that I be willing.  That is say “Lord, here am I, send me.”  So, Lord…here am I.  If it is your will, send me…

theworldrace.org