The World Race…
11 countries, in 11 months.
No family, no friends, no TV, no bed to call mine, no Kayla, no Allie,
no McDonald’s down the street, no paycheck, no car, no nothing.
For ELEVEN months. No
ME. Nothing will be about me.
For months I have battled with my flesh in the never ending
quest to figure out WHY God has me in the season He has me in. My best friend is married and considering a
move and a baby. Bill is finishing up
medical school and tossing around ideas of big moves for residency. Chase and
Brittany are trying for a baby. Lauren
and Jacob are in love with Carrigan and life.
I’m working. And living
alone. And waiting until I can apply to
nurse practitioner school.
Why am I single? Why
is God taking so long to send me the man that I so desire right now? Why am I at the most amazing job in the world,
but yet still feel so unhappy? My boss
is amazing, my hospital is incredible, and I adore my patients. But I just feel stuck.
I am beginning to pray about The World Race. I would leave in September and travel to 11
countries in 11 months to share the gospel of Christ and love on His
people. I will complete my one year
commitment to St. Dominic’s Hospital in July and finish my bachelor’s program
in August. From there, I would just be
working and gaining experience before I could further my education
anymore. Ok, check.
But what about bills?
My car is paid off as of April of last year. I live alone and have no roommates who depend
on my share of bills. My student loans
will have to begin to be paid on in February 2016. I would have 6 months of payments I would
have to save up for. Ok, that seems
attainable if I am diligent in saving.
But, God, what about money?
The Amazing Race requires about 18 THOUSAND DOLLARS to fund. Where would that money come from? I am simply trying to get things paid off
right now and wouldn’t be able to save that kind of money if I tried with all
my might. Sure, I could try to get
sponsors and do fundraisers but that much money? Lord, HOW?!?
These are the thoughts running through my mind as I consider
just what GETTING to the race would be like.
I am scared, and worried, and quite literally sick to my stomach right now. I do not see this as something that could be
possible. But I simply cannot get it out
of my brain or off my heart.
These are the years that I have for me. I have no husband and no kids and no real
responsibilities other than be a good employee and student. I am supposed to be “living it up” while I
have the time. But I don’t want to spend
my time on me. I want to love and serve
and do something that is bigger than me, WAY bigger than me. I want to do what God wants me to do. I want to be where God wants me to be. I want to take this time for HIM. This is time I cannot get back. I will never again be able to serve in the
way that I can serve now. Is the World
Race really what He has planned for me?
I’m not sure…but I think I’ll be finding out soon enough. I do not have to know how things will work
out. All He has ever asked is that I be
willing. That is say “Lord, here am I,
send me.” So, Lord…here am I. If it is your will, send me…
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